Guest Blog by Ms. Caitlin Lafarlette: My Big Girl Panties Don’t Exist

11 Jan

My ‘big girl panties’ don’t exist

I am at the DMV, for the second time of the day, fuming I waited an hour for an address change that took 10 seconds. “That’s grown-up life, my mom tells me later.

What does that even mean?

What is “grown-up,” “adult?” Apparently I made the transition of a snotty teenager into someone society gives full-time pay to, but I can’t even make a grilled cheese sandwich. Or change a flat tire (obviously the grilled cheese is a more pressing matter.)

There is no true age defining one of this right of passage. And anybody who says “18” has clearly never watched a group of college freshmen girls tape hundreds of condoms to a co-ed’s door and needs to pipe the hell down.

At some point we traded in stuffed animals for a lover, Juicy Juice for tequila and Flintstones vitamins for birth control pills. Frilly dresses gave way to mini-skirts, which faded into dress pants and blazers with an office job. Money for toys goes to rent now (at least, in theory.) “I’m gonna stay up so late, like until midnight!” slips into “Christ, my bedtime is at 10:30 and now I’m going to be hungover.”

On the other hand, I can go where I want, when I want. I can make decisions like eating dinner in the bathtub or wearing the same hoodie for 10 days straight. It’s a freeing concept when you grasp it. But I will never understand when I made that turning point.

Honestly, though, I don’t think “adulthood” really exists. Aside from college breaks, I’ve been living on my own for nearly five years and my parents still call to check up on me. Grandma still sends care packages of food. My dear mentor lovingly calls me her child. It’s all so comforting.

Ten-years-old and I am anxiously awaiting 13, the teenage milestone. Sixteen, and I am frustrated while waiting for college and dorm parties. Nineteen. I am bored with school and ready for a “real” job. Twenty-three. I live in a new city and work for a newspaper that creates award-winning journalists. And every night I fall asleep with stuffed animals and I wear footie pajamas all weekend.

In most aspects, others would see me as an “adult.” But I am completely content with never applying such a boring term to myself.

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One Response to “Guest Blog by Ms. Caitlin Lafarlette: My Big Girl Panties Don’t Exist”

  1. cdmitchell1964 January 11, 2015 at 6:57 pm #

    Great job Caitlin!
    Thank you for sharing.

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